THE WORLD’S FIRST UNDERWATER NIGHT CLUB!
Dating
What is love?
There were so many times when I wondered what love really meant. It is something that’s meant to happen only between two individuals who are soul mates? Between those who are meant to be together?
If this is true then how it is possible that some people fall in love so many times, or why is it that married people get divorced if they married their soul mates and they were madly in love with each other just a few months ago? Does that mean that it wasn’t love?
What is the real truth behind love?
Like how we feel anger, sadness, fear, joy, acceptance, disgust, surprise and anticipation, love is just another feeling.
But why are we so confused while describing it?
Well, there are other feelings too that are hard to describe. For example, the feeling of disappointment.
You are of course sad when you are disappointed but sadness is not the only feeling that you have when you are disappointed. It’s mixed with other feelings too.
Like-wise, we have guilt. For example, you went out for a party that you weren’t permitted to go to. You felt the joy of being there but also you had the fear of what might happen if you get caught. This feeling of joy and fear together is the feeling of guilt. Yes, I’m sure you didn’t think of it that way before.
So what’s the story behind love?
All of us know how it feels when we are so full of joy. But love is not just the feeling of joy right?
Have you ever thought how it would feel when we have a mixed feeling of joy and a feeling of acceptance together?
When we feel the joy of being with somebody who is compatible with us, and when we feel that we are being accepted for who we are, we call that mixed feeling love.
The reason why the probability for falling in love is so less is because there is a very thin line that separates this from other combinations, like if joy is mixed with the feeling of anticipation, it won’t give you the feeling of love but instead make you feel like an optimistic person. Similarly if the feeling of being accepted is mixed with fear for the person then you will not feel love for the person but rather feel submissive. Or this feeling of love, instead of being just a feeling of joy and acceptance, if it gets mixed with other feelings like anger and fear, the outcome is that instead of feeling love for that person you will end up feeling jealous of that person.
It is also not necessary that you feel it for just one person. Love can happen with anyone, anytime, anywhere and multiple times, as long as you feel the joy and you feel fully accepted. But, if either joy or acceptance is lost, love will definitely fade.
That’s why it’s rightly put when they say – ‘love has no boundaries’.
The perfect man.
“I’m fine!” She said.
“Are you really okay?” He asked her just to make sure that she really was.
“Yes, I am okay.” She answered with full assurance but she was getting choked with her pain. May be it was just her mood swings but it was terrible and she could hardly take in a full breath. She could feel the stress all over her body and it was making her sick.
“Do you want me to cancel my plans for tonight and stay with you?” He was wondering if she was really okay or not.
“Noooo, don’t cancel your plans for me. It was just my mood. I’m okay.” She actually wasn’t but she didn’t want to spoil his evening.
“Are you sure? You don’t mind if I go?”
“Yes! Go! I’m okay.” She answered.
“Alright!” He said as he took his phone out of his pocket and called his friend.
“Hey! What’s up? I just called to tell you that I won’t be able to make it tonight.”
He looked at her as he spoke and continued on the phone, “Yeah! Sort of,” he smiled at her as he spoke. “Okay! I’ll see you soon. Bye.” He hung up and put the phone back into his pocket.
“What?” She was surprised.
“Nothing, I cancelled my plans. There is nothing great in a burlesque anyway.” He answered.
“But why did you do that? A burlesque?! Go! I asked you to go, I’m really okay. I’m fine.”
“Ya, there you go again. ‘I’m fine, I’m really okay, GO’…” He said with a grin.
” YES! I did because I really am,” she was blushing, smiling, happy, excited. She was just happy that he was actually staying though she didn’t want him to cancel his plans for her.
He took her hands into his and looked into her eyes as he said, “Baby, I don’t remember where I read this from or if someone told me.
When a girl says she’s OKAY, she is actually NOT.
When a girl says she’s FINE, she is NOT fine.
When a girl says GO, she wants you to stay.
And YOU said it all just now at one time. That’s when I knew I had to be here with you.”
She laughed, she had no words. She just hugged him tight.
He hugged her back and asked again.
“Are you okay now?”
“Ya!” She answered.
“Okay! Now I know you are fine and remember there is nothing more important to me than this.”
She hugged him tighter and closed her eyes to feel his love. All her stress and pain melted away. She just knew she was a lucky woman, the luckiest she had ever been.
The three questions to help you decide if your date is a keeper or not.
Deciding whether someone is a keeper or not can get you in a double bind. We tend to keep ourselves blind folded because we are interested in the person and every time we get hints that he/she isn’t a keeper, we try to ignore the negatives.
Well, each one of us are searching for our true soulmates and everyone in the end of the day is looking forward to stability. The truth is that everyone is a keeper for someone or the other but how can you recognise if someone is a keeper for you or not?
Are they ready for you? It’s hard to change a person or even try to change their routine. So there is no point waiting for them to be ready, it’s going to take a lot longer than you think. They have to be ready by themselves, you can’t change it no matter how hard you try.
Do words and actions match? If they say they will call you at a certain time or fix a date on the certain day, the keepers will make sure they are there for you. More importantly, they will check up on you in between and they will always want to be a provider.
Is career more important? If you hear them talking too much about how important their career is or that they have a lot going on. Well, they are really not lying and a lot must be going on but you got your sign. You need to hit the accelerator and move on because may be the person is a keeper but not for you.
Giving a commitment to somebody is all about timing. Sometimes even if the person is right, the timing is wrong. So don’t blame yourself if it doesn’t work. There is nothing wrong with you. All you have to do move on and create the space for the keeper or else how will they come into your life?
Guy geometry in GIRLS’ math!
Girls are like wine! The older we get the better we are. But this wine does have certain chemical formulae and definitely some math which the guys need to understand. So let’s start with some basic girl math the guys should know.
Being a 13 year old girl—fun, exciting. To have few guys come up and ask us out. It all gets even more stirring when you dress up your best to meet a guy, coming back with stories of the first date and even writing about it in a diary.
Few years later, we turned prettier and started getting more attractive. We turned sweet sixteen, when the counting game was fun and we had to use the term fans instead of just a name of a guy because it really was a club. Some names had to be attached to their surnames because you need to identify the guys with the same first names, right? Not to forget the guys with the same surnames. All madly in love with us.
Turning 18 is like entering the fancy age. More boys, lesser girls around. Attention from everywhere, prank calls, missed calls, letters, chocolates, recorded CD’s with our favourite songs, roses, cards, gifts. New boys, old ones, all in love with us.
We learnt how to flirt, we blushed, we smiled, we played with our hair, and we were excited when a guy says the 3 words we love to hear.
Some of us had a boyfriend, or many boyfriends, some of us stayed single, or some episodes of being single at least for a while. But the attention never stopped. Everybody around flirted with including friends, good friends, friend’s friends, brother’s friends, friend’s brothers. And the story continued to our twenties.
Early 20′s were better, we learnt to dress up, regular parlour visits, spas occasionally and the individual styles we acquired for ourselves. All of which made us stand out for few eyes. We believed we had plenty of friends (mostly guy friends) and thought they’ll be around forever. Lost few friends because we rejected them for a relationship and they found new girlfriends but we didn’t bother at all because we had a bunch of guys in our list who we thought would be our friends forever.
26 years old already, but we feel like we are 16 inside—still enjoying the attention from every new guy that comes along and from old ones who have waited for years to hear a yes from us. So, yes we never felt too friendless.
27 years old, the guys are slowly getting married one by one. We are happy for them but sad also because they all changed. Though sometimes they act like we were the one they should have been with. So, all the married ladies, your guy does make someone feel that they are more special than you (guys don’t change even after they get married…though we have exceptions everywhere!). All the more reason, you hear lot of girls at this age saying that they don’t believe in marriages until they find the perfect guy, so you know what they mean! 
At 28 years, we do not need that attention from so many guys. We need friends, we start realising that not many people took us as friends. The guys were just trying to see if at some point we just might be with them. We get fed up of guys hitting on us, in parties, in a bar, in a friend’s place, on the road, in the coffee shop, in the restaurants. Why can’t any guy just look at us as a friend? Where is the meaning of the friendship that we believed in all our lives? We are not 16 anymore that we enjoy your attention. We don’t want you checking us out anymore. When you flirt, it sounds ridiculous. We have heard enough of people telling us that they love us on just a few dates; we are done with every guy telling us that we are amazing and asking us for a kiss however polite you get at it. We want just a friend and may be if you act like a friend for a little longer you might even get whatever you want ( I hope your intention was of having a committed relationship) So stop flirting you guys, be a friend!
29 years old and given up in trying to make a guy become a friend. We start looking out for girl companions. We would love the fairy tale ending but we have given up on it. We don’t even mind our parents fixing us up with someone because all the guys we meet still seem to be in their early twenties and haven’t become matured enough to understand the girl mathematics.
30 year old, we are maturing like wine. We are polished. We have learnt to enjoy our own company. Some of us still haven’t found our match but that seems to be less important because we hardly care about the timing anymore. We will not compromise and it doesn’t matter how long it takes because we can now finally wait till we know, this is the guy. Love doesn’t seem like only a relationship thing anymore. We find love in everything we do, love in just being us. We have lost too much to be scared of anything; we only look forward to life. We don’t need to try to fit into anyone’s life any more or try too hard because someone would have grown up too and some day he’ll find her and she does not mind waiting.
Long distance relationships definitely work!
Long distance relationships are often seen as something that mostly end up with heart breaks or betrayal but with a little self maturity and discipline, it can be turned into a happy ending.
Before you try and make it work, you have to be aware of what kind of relationship you are into, whether it is lust or love. There is no point of investing years of your life when you know that your relationship is only based on lust but if you are sure that both of you are looking for something deeper and something more meaningful then yes, it can definitely work.
New technologies have made it easier to maintain long distance relationships but frequent communication is not always necessary, it does not actually matter. Building trust in the person is what really matters!
Being so far away from one another, it becomes hard to meet often and the longer you wait, you start feeling that the time is dragging and your interest is fading away slowly but if you can keep yourself busy and you are a person who has a lot of hobbies then you will realise that time flies and it’s that time again when you are going to meet your partner.
Conflicts between couples are very common and some of the conflicts end up into a break up but people in long distance relationships need to try and solve it faster or avoid conflicts because you have to make the most out of the little time you spend with each other.
Being independent is the key. You have to be someone who is not dependent, someone who is comfortable with going out alone or going to events and socialising with everyone. Remember you are not looking out for somebody or for a company. You are out to have fun.
Plan a place for the future where both of you can finally live together and a time frame for that. You need to create that incentive to wait for each other. Working things out for the future, whether its work wise or a place where both of you would love to live is necessary because finally you will have to eventually find a way to be next to each other.
Finally, love is what is stronger than any other thing so keep adding a little love everyday and some day it will definitely build the walls of your home together.
The one problem of every strong woman.
It’s the 21st century and it’s not uncommon to see women who are successful in all areas, who have the potential to take control, to multitask and create whatever they want. It’s considered as having the masculine energy that makes a women strong and gives her the ability to take care of herself and take charge of her life.
Being the independent kind, they do have attraction towards independent and masculine guys but it becomes hard for them to find one or even if they do, it’s hard for them to connect with one. So, they end up attracting feminine guys or simply a sissy!
There is just one reason for this and it’s the habit of saying – “I CAN DO IT MYSELF”
Masculine guys need to feel masculine. No masculine guy will want to be around a women who never lets him take care of her.
“I CAN DO IT MYSELF” is not always something that proves that you are strong. Having to do everything yourself is a form of weakness. All you are doing is trying to evaluate yourself by showing how strong you are.
A strong women doesn’t need to prove it or exert so much energy to show how strong she is. She might be out of practice of receiving but she is aware that it makes her stronger to be served.
A weak woman needs help all the time. She is always either saying- “help me” or showing signs that she needs help.
A woman who is a step higher than that always says -“I can do it myself and I don’t need anyone else”
But a really strong woman does things a little differently, she says – ” I know I can do it but it’s a lot more fun when someone else can do it for me!”
Men and women need each other. Not for survival or for happiness, not for entertainment or for being vulnerable. Yes, they need each other if they want to enjoy life at a different level.
All the strong ladies out there, it doesn’t make you inferior or weak if you let him do things for you. So, be tender, be passionate and be present in whatever he creates for you. Enjoy the act of being feminine!
The three kind of guys you need to run away from.
Our species (whether a guy or girl ) are always looking out for a partner and until we find the one made for us we always end up getting into wrong matches. It is of course a part of life but the more sensitive and more emotional gender ends up getting more hurt. Not for any other reason but only because female brains have her compartments more wired. So to save yourself from the little pains from the wrong guys, you need to identify them.
The smooth talkers ( the flirts)
He’s the kind who will sweep you off your feet. He has the cutest smile and the most charming face. It’s not about his looks but he just knows what to say and what to do at the right time. He looks at you with that charismatic stare and you feel like his world is just you. He calls often and checks on you. Leaves a goodnight message and sends the sweetest wake up message or a call. Love comes before anything for him (that’s what it looks like to you) but the truth is that his love compartment is far away from your name and you. His attention graph for you is steep in the beginning but slowly his excuses begin. These kind of guys will leave you as soon as you fall in love so ladies disappear before they do and don’t worry about how he will feel because he’s a hunter and before you know it he’ll be fine with another prey . He is probably the one who will make you a stronger person but there are many other ways that can make you stronger so don’t fall for this one.
The quality guy (the one who vanishes)
Well, he is interested in you and finds you attractive and loves to hang out with you. He makes you feel special and does all the right things he needs to do when he’s around you but before you know it he vanishes. He checks on you once in a while, drops in a call or a message but again vanishes. He plans for dates but gives you a very short notice , doesn’t really care about your schedule and just expects you to be available. He has all the kind words to say to you but hardly talks about why he vanishes every time. Yes he might be the busiest man yet spends time with you but you have no idea what’s actually going on. Ladies, here’s the truth- He is attracted to you and thinks your awesome but he has no respect for you and takes you for granted so yes he’s not at all on the same page as you because he wants different things and he isn’t ready for a commitment so here’s the advise…turn your back towards him and run because agreed he has the quality but he is too casual about you.
The lovers who are just not ready.
He is the one who loves you (definition of love is always flexible). He takes you out and gives you all the attention, care, love and everything else you would desire. He’s the perfect guy that you would have imagined. Everything is going well except that he doesn’t let you meet his friends, never talks about you meeting his family. He seems confused every time he talks about future- some times includes you but some times you know you are not a part of the plan. Well, you could be the girl he desires and loves you for the moment but the timing is just too wrong. So ladies recognise this red light as soon as you can and tell him that he needs to vacate that space that is meant for the one who will love you and who will do anything to save your dignity.
Life is about experiences and each experience adds to your story or just you. But you need to start loving yourself if you don’t want to get hurt or played. Love for yourself is the greatest love you will find and once you learn how to do that you will be clear about the person who should be just the other half of you and you will be glad that you created space for him to come into your life.
Don’t stop loving!
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