Loneliness

The feeling of preferring social isolation is mostly because of a deeper cause which is a feeling of rejection. And yes! It’s normal. There are certain things we don’t realise that is happening to us or the people around. It’s simply called aging!

Managing a successful ageing is not something that can be done later in life as ageing is a gradual process that begins quite early in life. By the early 20’s the signs of problems related to ageing can be seen in certain individuals which only increases by 30 and becomes greater with increasing age.

Some of these signs are :

* Loneliness
* Sense of worthlessness
* Financial insecurities
* Depression
* Social isolation
* Feeling of rejection

To fight these feelings, we try and use our defense mechanism of trying to isolate ourselves from the world. We try to withdraw ourselves from the society as this disengagement helps us relieve ourselves from the roles we had to play or those responsibilities we were unable to fulfil. Some describe this as retreat and they tell themselves that they are happier alone. But is it a good choice?

It is of course common but it’s not ideal because all that you are doing is adjusting with society. When we were younger we didn’t think about this so we were happier as we had no clue about something called ‘being judged’.

The ideal way is to “be-you-or-lose-you”. You need to maintain your activities without caring about how others might judge you. Being active physically, mentally and socially can help you adjust better with ageing. It will help you to have a better self image, greater satisfaction and more social support which will result to a more successful ageing.

So, though it’s normal to socially isolate yourself, it’s always a better choice to be active for a successful adjustment to ageing (Of course selective disengagement is necessary so just remember one thing – nobody posts pictures of them crying or being sad and you are not the only one having a frustrated life at some point because everyone goes through it)!

There was wine, vodka, rum, whiskey, cocktails and of course tequila.

We drank. We drank till we forgot everything else in our lives, the good, the bad, the happiness and the pain.

We danced, we sang, we joked, we laughed.

We were all there in our moment of joy.

This is happiness, I thought. Truly living the moment.

Live for the moment, live in the moment. These are the only words of wisdom I truly believe in so, in that moment I stopped to feel it, to capture it in the deepest of my mind.

So, I watched everything, everything that surrounded me. The flowers, the grass, the chairs, the table, the glasses, the empty bottles and that last bottle of tequila.

As my eyes stopped at that bottle, someone held it. He poured that last shot for everyone. My eyes paused at the hands, watching him pour and then serve everyone. I saw each face one by one, each one taking their share. And that’s when I realised that there was a deeper meaning behind that moment.

There was sadness in every smile, sadness behind the laughs, sadness behind every dancing soul and then I saw the actuality of that moment that there was indeed loneliness in every soul. But no, we won’t accept it. We can’t say it. Because for the world, we have to look happy.

Some of us share it with our closest friends and most of us keep quiet about it. We are afraid to show our loneliness because we think we are probably the only one who goes through it but the truth is that everyone is convicted of loneliness at some point or the other.

Look around you, look at the people around you: the close ones, your random friends or that stranger. They are waiting for you and you have waited for them. We all need love, we have a deep and powerful yearning of care, we all wait for it. It doesn’t matter where it comes from, you don’t have to a relative or even a friend.

So, walk out of your cocoons and be there for that stranger, that friend, that person. Talk your heart out to people and tell them about your true self. There is no point of being surrounded by people when you can’t communicate about the things that are important to you. Talk, be comfortable in talking about your lonely times because your lonely times come only because you are not able to communicate about the things that matter to you. Allow them to do the same without judging them or without trying to solve their problems. Be a part of that inexplicable feeling for a person when in their most lonely hours, someone made them feel delighted and made their loneliness disappear.

Just be a true friend, a true friend to more people. A true friend to every person you come across. Tell them that they might feel lonely but they are not the only one and that together we can kill it. Remember friendship is not about who stayed with you longest or who stays beside you forever, friendship is being there for a person when they need you even if it’s only for a moment.

So, here’s my share of friendship I am distributing with a shot for you from this bottle of tequila.

Cheers to life and all the human experience we come across. Let’s promise that from this moment on, we will try and make one lonely soul happy and build bridges to other souls instead of building a wall for yourself that makes it hard for not just others but for you to cross.